Episode 3
MMM: What's to say? Welcome to episode 3! I'm glad to see that this Column's finally starting to take off! With nothing further to say, here's the disclaimer:
I don't own Star Fox. But I do own Rogert, the Flabbergasted Mud Enthusiast!
MMM: Here we go! The first submission is from:
Tigerlily
Peppy: Finally you stop talking backwards!
Falco: Wha's your favorite to do in your free time? *hugs him* Ooooooh~ I just can't enough of pretty brids! XD
Peppy:*slaps him* What did to Fox mom anyways?!? And how old are you?
Slippy: Oh...you must know that if you eat too much suger you would get sickness. My friend said that his friend went to the hospital cause for eating too much candy, sodas, and chocolate.
MMM: What's your favorite 1# adventure game? And you know the rules...3 only!
Falco: Who's Rob64 I know he's a robot but what makes him annoying? *anime starry eyes* Please tell me why I'll make you feel better. ^_^ Like a sticker. ~_^
Thankies have a nice day!~
Peppy: niaga sdrawkcab gniklat trats won lliw I!!!!
MMM: Oy, not again.
Falco: *Plucks off another charm* Well my favorite pastime now is to slowly pick off these charms, and I'm almost finished....but I do like to play strategy games in my spare time.
Peppy: *Gets slapped back into normality* I didn't do anything to Fox's Mom, except that one night stand.... and I'm 98 years old as of now..
Slippy: *Eats 7 chocolate bars* I love chocolate soooooo much!!! I can't live without chocolate!
MMM: Favorite Adventure games:
#1: Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
#2: Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
#3: Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
Falco: Rob's voice is almost as annoying as Slippy's! And that is saying something!
MMM: Well thanks for the submission Tigerlily! Here's the next one from:
Brygi63
Peppy: Taking advantage of? Not exactly the best choice of words, is it? I'm surprised that Fox's father's soul isn't haunting you right now (unless that's why you act so weird).
Shadow: *looks around for any sign of Shadow* Good! He's not here! I'd be pretty scared if there were two Shadows (there's one in the Sonic column, semi-tranquilized). Triple M must've tranquilized him just before the column started. Smart move.
Slippy: *throws a bag of fudge to Slippy* to my fellow chocolate fan! And I guess MMM can have some, too. *throws another bag at MMM*
Fox: You have been hugged and kissed by TWO submitters! I think I have every right to do the same to Krystal. If you don't like it, deal with it!
Krystal: shall we continue? *gets whacked by MMM* All right, never mind. *grumble, grumble*
Well, I might as well get down to business.
Alright, Falco. I found something that might work. *pulls a flask of orange liquid out of his robe* Put some of this on each of the charms. *gives flask to Falco*. Remember, though, you only need one drop on each charm.
Peppy: I don't have to worry about ghosts n' such, look at this! *Holds up spray bottle with label that says "Ghost Away, Helping Repel Hostile Hauntings Since 1888!"*
MMM: I got rid of Shadow with the end of Chapter 2. No need to let anything bad happen...
*Slippy and MMM devour every crumb of fudge*
Fox: People just… like me! I'm likeable! That doesn't give you the right to go after Krystal!
Krystal: *Says something in Dinosaur directly to Brygi*
Slippy: *Gasps in shock* Thats disgusting Krystal! I'm apalled!
Fox: What, what did you say?
Krystal: *Kisses Fox full mouth*
Fox: *Forgets everything that was said and begins making out again*
Falco: *Grabs potion and begins dabbing it on the charms. The charms start bursting into flames. Flames begin consuming his clothes* Ack! I'm on fire! *Stops, drops, and rolls*
*After fire is out, Falco is unharmed but is naked*
Falco: *Blushes and runs off to dressing room*
MMM: Well at least he doesn't have any charms left on him! Nightingale's next submission here aught to be interesting! Thanks for the submission Brygi! Here's the next one from:
Tigerlily
Falco: Do you have a crush on Katt? *gives him a pumpkin pie* Don't be grouchy be happy! ^_^
Slippy*sighs*: Oh well guess it's okay for me.
Peppy*slaps him again*: You're a bbaaaaaaddd rabbit!
Ero-tojay! (pervert rabbit)
Fox: Sorry for the kissing thing I would've known that Krystal is jealous! Sorry Krystal!
Thanks and have a nice holiday~ ~_^
Falco: *Rushes back in from the dressing room, wearing a clown suit* MMM, all you had in the dressing room was a clown suit!
MMM: *Snickers* I know....hehehehe....
Falco: *Eats pie* Pie makes everything better...And yes Katt is rather cute...*Pauses to think*.....very cute....but rather obnoxious as well.
Slippy: *Continues devouring chocolate*
Peppy: *Rubs his cheek* Wo! Truh taht!
*Fox and Krystal continue making out*
MMM: I guess there was no problem there. *Rolls his eyes* Here's the next submission from:
Nightingale
*walks back in the studio* What'd I miss? *MMM tells her*
...
...
GAAAAAAAHH!!! IMPURE THOUGHTS!! *grabs MMM's hammer and whacks herself on the head repeatedly* That's better. Now, the question. Where is Tricky? He's a member now, after all. Can he be a cameo? *Fox makes a face* That's what you get for ticking off a lady. Nyah.
~Chaos, panic, and disorder: my work here is done.~
MMM: Cameo request has been approved!
Fox: Crud!
Krystal: Ex reo...kxaj ned'k ro fcoujudt.....
Slippy: Translation: "Oh boy, this won't be pleasant"
Author: *Pops in* Many thanks to Nightingale for providing me with the English-Dino translation sheet! Mudo kxudbj! *Pops out*
MMM: Kxudbj veh kxuk jirmajjaed Nightingale! *Thanks for that submission Nightingale!* Here's the next one from:
Brygi63
Krystal: what did you--[Fox and Krystal are still making out, paying no attention to Brygi] Krystal, will you get off Fox and listen to me? [they still ignore him] All right! That's enough! *throws a bunch of anti-fox charms on Fox and Krystal, who are launched at opposite sides of the studio (due to the magic and all)* Now then, if you want to kiss Fox again (you can't take them off; I've made sure of that), then you will tell me what you said to me that Slippy said was disgusting. Fair enough?
Pepper: I think I can help your financial needs. *tosses a dragon tooth to Pepper, which lands on Rob64* Beautiful, isn't it? And it's a good ten feet in length. I've had people buy one of these for over $1,000,000.
To everyone else: I have a whole jaw of those. He was a fierce fighter, too. So, who wants one? Only 5 grand each.
Peppy sdrawkcab gniklat uoy era yhw?
All right, see ya later! And remember: do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good in ketchup!
Fox: *Scrapes at the charms on him* AHHHH!!!! THEY BURN!!!!! THEY BURN!!!!! *Yanks off all his clothes to get rid of the Charms*
Krystal: Ooohhhh....Fox is naked!!!! *Stares intently*
Fox: *Still has a charm on his arm* IT'S BURNING A HOLE IN MY ARM!!!!!!!!!! AIIIIII!!!!!!
MMM: *Removes charm from Fox* You only needed to charm Kystal. By putting Anti-Fox Charms on Fox, you nearly burned him to death!
Fox: *Gasps* Thank god.....wait....I'm naked!!!! Yikes!!!! *Runs off to the dressing room*
Krystal: Well since Fox is in the other room I'll tell you. I said (CENSORED FOR ICKY STUFF AND THE LIKE)
Falco: How revealing....I didn't know you were a cheater at heart Krystal!
Krystal: Visb oei Falco!
Slippy: *Translating* (CENSORED FOR POTTY MOUTH)
MMM: I see our censor is getting creative with his tags....
Pepper: *Pulls out his lap-top, In song* Everything's easier when you do it E-Bay!
MMM: Would you be willing to share one of those with me Brygi? I kinda want to buy Soul Calibur 2 but my pockets are empty....
Peppy: M'i gniklat sdrawkcab esuaceb I leef ekil ti! S'ti nuf!
MMM: *Wonders when the dragons will see Pepper's auction on E-Bay* Thanks for that submission Brygi! Here's the next one from:
Tigerlily
Falco: Do you know Katt has a crush on you?
MMM: Why Katt is not here?
Peppy: Uoy treverp tibbar! I wonk tahw uoy yas! *bonk his head with her fist* Uoy retteb pots gnikalt sdorwkacb ro esle epleoep tighm evah ??? skarm no reiht sdeah!!!
*gives traslation to MMM*: Peppy: You pervert rabbit! I know what you say! *bonk his head with her fist* You better stop talking backwords or else people might have ??? marks on their heads!!!
Falco: Sorry bout' that I don't like Peppy for being a pervert.
Thanks and have a nice holiday!~ ~_^
Falco: Well it's obvious that Katt thinks I'm a cutie, but her personality is so annoying!!!
Peppy: Elpoep era trams hguone ot daer siht sdrawkcab! I t'nod deen ot egnahc eht yaw I klat!
MMM: *Translates* People are smart enough to read this backwards! I don't need to change the way I talk!
Falco: I honestly find this very entertaining Tigerlily, why don't you keep messing with Peppy! It's a scream!
Krystal: Ooj, boof ak if!
MMM: *Translates* Yes, keep it up! *End translation* I'm getting awful tired of talking for people here! I should get the Author to get up off his butt and make a page for the English-Dino Translation! Thanks for the submission though Tigerlily! That was a good one! Here's the next submission from:
Brygi63
Yeah, I know what I only needed to do it to Krystal, but ticking off jealous boyfriends is fun! I was really surprised to hear that from Krystal, though. I thought she insulted me; I didn't think she'd want to...*clears throat* All right, I'm done being shy. Now to be evil! *throws a bunch of anti-Fox charms on Fox's dressing room, then teleports a radio which plays only Barney and Telletubby songs in the room* Wait, never mind. That's too cruel. *radio turns off*
I think I'm going to start picking on Eggman in the Sonic Column for a while. He's been due for another Eggbelly for about three chapters.
Triple M: I guess I can give you guys a dragon tooth or two *throws a pair of dragon teeth to Triple M. One hits the disclaimer*
Disclaimer: sorry about that. You're just annoying.
Andross: you're annoying, too. Your voice does sound cool, though.
Pepper: are you secretly taking credit for killing the dragon? *thought If the dragon's mate founds out I killed him...end thought*
All right, I'm done with this submission. See ya later!
Fox: Well at least I won't be needing to use my dressing room again....and I can always buy another one!
MMM: Yes! Domo arigato! *Joins Pepper on E-bay*
Pepper: Current bid is sitting at $980,000! and the auction still has 3 days left!
MMM: *He and Pepper do another rendition of the E-bay song*
Andross: I might be annoying, but I'm the best dang dictator these columns have ever seen!
Pepper: *Flips his laptop around to show Brygi his auction page*
Auction # 18592759278384927389478274
Genuine Dragon Tooth
Attained from a good friend and excellent warrior, this polished white dragon tooth is of genuine quality and of the highest rarity. Starting bid: $800,000
MMM: You started it kinda high huh?
Bids: 145
Highest Bid: $1,001,999
Pepper: One million! I'm gonna make over $1,000,000!!!! *Crushes Brygi in a death hug of joy*
MMM: Well I'll try and mimic your success! And not to mention I have 2 of 'em! *Furiously works on his auction page* Thanks for the submission Brygi, I owe you big now! Here's the next submission from:
Tigerlily
Falco: Why do you think Katt is annoying, what did she do to you? Are you and Fox friends?
Fox: I felt bad that both of your parents died.
Slippy: Sorry bout that chocolate thing I guess it's alright. ^_^
Peppy:*says something in chinese* Cheese sing!
MMM*whispers near his ear* It's crazy in Chinese.
Falco: Well it's the attitude. She's always teasing me like a little kid! And she always steals credit for the big kills whenever we're working on a job!
Fox: I felt bad for awhile, but a combination of therapy and Krystal has helped a lot! *Smiles widely*
Slippy: *Eats another chocolate bar* Ugh, I don't feel so good...*Rubs his stomach*
MMM: I was wondering when all that chocolate would make him sick.
Falco: You did it to yourself Slippy! You should know that you don't have as much raw eating capacity as Robotnik from the Sonic Column!
Peppy: A nacc den jkuhk kucbadw ad Dinosaur!
Krystal: Seec! No sud kucb joshokco!
Peppy: A bden!
Slippy: TRANSLATION:
Peppy: I will now start talking in Dinosaur!
Krystal: Cool! We can talk secretly!
Peppy: I know!
Slippy: END TRANSLATION
MMM: Thanks for doing that for me Slippy!
Slippy: Translating is what I do best!
Fox: It looks like we'll need it quite alot now....
MMM: Kucbadw ad Dinosaur aj vid! (Talking is Dinosaur is fun!) Thanks for the submission Tigerlily! After our long hiatus, here's the next submission:
Tigerlily
Falco:*kiss him on the cheek* I changed my mind! Cause I think Rock Lee would go best with Sakura. *(c)Naruto*
Andross: I know you're very cold Mister, can you give us a point why you're acting this way? I know you're the bad guy but please do say so.
Falco: Your voice sound so heavenly...^-^ and you're so strong, fast, and talented. Who teach you? You're voice kind'na sounds like a general when you finish or something. Some how your high voice sounds like Ryudo from Grandia 2.
Slippy: Do you fix machines? What's your favorite thing to do at work besides killing the baddies?
Fox and Falco: How do you explode from mid-air? *hint: like the one from Super Smash Bros melee.*
Krystal: What class are you? To me you looked like sage or something like that.
MMM: Wow cool! *anime in the studios huh...* I really want Shiroi Kumo(Final Fantasy: Umlimited) in the stage! He is such a cool character and he is better that Kuroki Kaze(he's way too cold and mean!)! Shiroi Kumo is such a nice guy and always say thank you. Sorry if I'm too selfish...^^;
All: And oh what's you're favorite holiday? Mine is Valentine's Day.
~Thanks see ya! ^_^
Falco: I've never read Naruto, but hey, as long as I'm getting kisses I'm happy!
Andross: Well, I used to be a nice guy, but a few years ago I was experimenting with certain chemicals when suddenly they exploded! All of my body except my brain, eyes and hands were completely destroyed, and I was forced to put myself inside a giant robot. It makes me so angry!
Falco: I taught myself to sing, naturally. I was just born with this wonderful voice. *Smiles suavely*
Slippy: I'm a very talented mechanic, I can fix almost anything! It's one of my favorite things to do!
Fox: Oh, you mean the Fire Fox and Fire Falcon moves! Those were relatively easy and painful to do. Falco and I just had to get small packs of Napalm and strap them to our butts, and when we needed to jump higher, we would light the napalm and it would explode into flames, propelling us higher and causing the fires.
Krystal: Pretty close, I'm actually a priestess, not a sage. but good guess!
MMM: Well, sorry. I do allow anime cameos on stage, but only characters that I know. I've never played FF Unlimited and so I don't know anything about the characters in it. Sorry!
All the characters: WE LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!!
MMM: Thanks for your submission! Here’s one from our newest submitter:
Fox Falco
Falco: I`m a big fan of yours you`re intelegent strong fast and the list goes on and on...
Fox: I’m a big fan yours as well keep up the great work of saving the lylat system.
MMM: you do a great job on all these columns and do you know where I can find a translater or a list of the dinosaur language?
Rob: where is the Lylat system located?
Rob: did you make the great fox?
Rob: were you with foxs father when he died?
Peppy:*gives him an arwing*
Falco*gives him a teleporter for anywhere anytime travel*
Fox *gives him Hl Lanucher Loaded with missles and fixes up his arwing *your going to need it.
Krystal*Kisses Krystal and leaves via chaos control*
Falco: Yes I am great aren’t I? *Sound of head getting big*
Fox: Saving the galaxy rocks when there’s someone there to pay you big bucks!
Pepper: My auction reached 3 million! Now I can afford to hire Fox again should the need arise!
Fox: Hahaha, Then I’ll be able to afford that new expansion for the Great Fox!
Falco: Pool room here we come!
Slippy: But what about the missile defense system?
Fox: But Pool table Slippy! Pool table!!
Slippy: *Heavy sigh*
MMM: Yes yes, thank you very much. *Bows*. I can E-mail you a copy of my translation sheet if you wish!
Rob: The Lylat System is located on the fringe of the Horse head Nebula eight point three light years from the gas cloud border and neighboring the GND-34565 Star System.
Author: *Pops in* InnowaydoesthisstatementrflectarealstarsystemoranythingtruthfulabouttheStarFoxfranchiseingeneral. Thankyou. *Pops out*
MMM: Guess we needed those legal disclaimers a lot more than I thought we would. >_<
Rob: The Great Fox was constructed in 3267 FD by Fox McLeod Sr. three years before the Andross-Lylat Wars. I was not yet constructed at that time. I was constructed by Fox McLeod Jr. in 3332 FD, after Fox McLeod Sr.’s death.
Peppy: *Looks at his new arwing* Well, having a back-up ship never hurt I guess!
Falco: *Sees his new teleporter* SWEET! I’M GONNA GET ME SOME VALUABLE JUNK!!!
MMM: *Whacks Falco* Wait until after we’re done filming idot!
Fox: Awesome! The first thing I’m going to do with this rocket launcher is…*Blasts Peppy’s new back-up arwing*
Peppy: HEY!!!!
Fox: Not like you were going to use it for anything! It’s been a year since Andross stirred up the last war!
Andross: He’s right you know.
Peppy: Meh. Whatever.
Krystal: *Gets kissed* …I really love my job.
MMM: Hmm, if people keep hugging and kissing the characters I’m going to have to start charging them money to do it! Hehehe, thanks for the submission FF! Oops, I just realized that this chapter was one submission too long! Vergial, the submission of yours that I had answered here has been moved to the next chapter.
Fox: Smooth, Triple-M.
MMM: Shaddupa yo face! Well, this chapter is done, thanks for reading and see you next time!
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