Episode 4
MMM: Well, after having to do a little cutting and pasting of submissions, here's chapter 4! And now, for something completely disclaimer:
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Star Fox. Rather, Krystal owns him...his soul at least, we're not so sure about the rest of him.
MMM: And now, here's the cut-pasted submission from vergial that used to be in the last chapter!
Vergial
First, to Fox: How, exactly, did you become so good and reknowned? What did you do for training, or did your skills come naturally?
Falco: How did you become SO FARGIN' COOL?! Okay, now that that's out, the real question: it sounds as if you don't exactly like flying under orders too much. Do you know anything of issueing orders? Do you know of military protocol and such?
Slippy: I'm sure you're aware that most everyone hates your voice. But how does the team react to your inventions, such as the Blue Marine? They've got to be somewhat thankful to that!
Peppy: As the oldest and most experienced member of the team, how does it feel to YOU to be taking orders from a minor? No offense Fox.
Katt: Do you and Falco have anything towards each other? 'Cause it's really annoying in-game. Other than that, you're cool.
Bill: How did it feel to be attacked by a massive Mothership seemingly right out of Independence Day the movie?
Group: Okay, I know I'm draggin' this out, but this column thinger rocks. ANYWAYS, going completely off-subject with concern to your roles, what do you guys think of the Unreal Tournament? Awesome, trigger-happy gorefest or terrible, should-be-banned violence?
Kay, I'm done. Thank you for your time. *beams himself back to the Kionnoh*
Fox: I think I answered this already, but oh well, won’t hurt to say it again. My dad gave me a year or two of training when I was a teenager, before he died. After he died I was strictly a self taught pilot until I inherited the team.
Falco: I remember your self training days, you went through more Arwings in a few days than our entire first mission to beat Andross!
Fox: That’s not how I remember it!
*Camera does a close-up on Fox’s brain, showing his memories. Teenage fox is piloting his arwing and destroying training drones on a course. He completes it in record time and then some beautiful female foxes come in and kiss him*
Falco: *smashes the close-up* Wrong!
Fox: Awww, you destroyed my dreams..
Falco: Ah yeah, I AM awesome! *does a pose* Anyway, yeah, following orders isn’t my thing. That’s yet another one of the “Numerous Reasons that I left the Team Before SFATm.” I haven’t thought of giving orders though, it does sound kind of fun!
MMM: Trust me, it’s a blast!
Falco: I’ll hafta try… Hey Slippy! Make me a sandwich!
Slippy: Sure, you want bologna and mayo?
Falco: Cotto salami and Colby jack cheese, and don’t skimp on the mayo!
Slippy: Aye-aye!
Falco: Dang, that is sweet! I’ll never make another sandwich again!
Slippy: *while making the sandwich* Well yes, the other guys really seem to have anger issues, especially centering around my voice. But more than once they’ve had to acknowledge the usefulness of my inventions!
Fox: He IS right you know.
Slippy: *hands Falco the sandwich*
Falco: *takes a bite, then nearly vomits* BLECH! That sucks! What did you use, Happy Hobo Brand Mayo? It tastes like its 4 years old!
Slippy: Sorry I’m used to having detailed schematics drawn up beforehand when creating something.
Peppy: Trust me, I got no problem taking orders from Fox. I just imagine he’s a smaller version of his dad, who had REAL authority. Not to mention I get to pester him with reminders about barrel rolls all the time!
MMM: Hold on, is Katt STILL at the beauty salon? Hell if I’m going to pay her if she refuses to be here to answer the questions…
Katt: *comes in wearing a brand new blue & pink outfit* Hey Falco, check out my new digs!
Falco: WOW. That’s totally sweet!
MMM: I hate to interrupt FlirtFest2006, but you have a Column Question to answer, Katt.
Katt: Really? The only reason I’ve been out so long is because nobody ever asks me anything! Well then! *reads question* Well, I think it is kinda obvious that Falco and I have a thing for each other, but things don’t seem to be going anywhere. Falco just doesn’t seem assertive enough to go forward!
Bill: Wow, been awhile since I got a question too! Hem..Well, it was quite a surprise when that massive ship decloaked right inside our planetary defenses, but we did manage to fight it off, thanks to Fox and his team! Too bad it did such massive damage to the base when it fell on it…
Fox: You mean the UT? I think I’ve heard of it, but I don’t know much.
Falco: Oh man, that tournament is so awesome! I used to pay big time to get a good seat to watch the action.
Slippy: What? You mean you can actually stomach that horrific gorefest?
Falco: You bet! FLAK CANNON RULES!
MMM: Aw yeah baby! Thanks for the submission Vergial! Here's an actual new one from:
ZeldaGamer69
Hey everyone, I've got a nice fresh basket of steaming submissions ready for your personal edification!
Fox: Now that Falco's back on the team, how are you going to keep the team infighting to a minimum? I cn already sense heightened levels of "Let's strangle Slippy" in the air.
Falco: Being the manly, powerful man you are, I'm sure you appreciate a challenge. Well boy do I have a challenge for you! Let's see how strong your will is by testing how long you can go without trying to strangle Slippy! I'll be counting the amount of strangle free submissions you make it through. And trust me, if it's a small number, I WILL be back to taunt you about it!
Krystal: Do you know that there is a huge internet subculture dedicated just to you? Would it disturb you to know that most people in this subculture think you're incredibly hot? I'm not saying that I do, I'm just saying you might want to be careful around the darker alleys of the internets.
Rob64: You don't get many questions, so here's one for you. Are you capable of feling emotions, or are you a cold, emotionless droid just like any other?
Alrighty, enjoy! I'm off to study!
~ZG69
Fox: I may have to resort to more creative methods to keep team members from killing each other. Such creative methods may or may not involve the use of a shock collar, several non poisonous snakes, and a chicken, rubber or otherwise.
MMM: I'm not quite sure I want to know exactly how a chicken would be involved...
Falco: Ugh! That's a low blow! You can be a real asshole when you want to, you know!
MMM: Language, bird boy.
Falco: Humph. Fine. But the challenge will be null and void if the other submitters start egging Slippy on to do even stupider things than usual.
Krystal: Oh yes, I know all about these people. My lawyer tried to pin down a few of them, but the whole anonymity thing of the internet makes it so that there's really not that much I can do about it except not to go near communities of furry roleplayers.
Rob64: You are correct. I experience no emotions. That cheap asshole fox couldn't cough up the dough to buy me an emotion chip. Lousy bastard.
MMM: I would scold you about your foul mouth right now if I weren't so entertained by the irony of the way you turned the phrase, Rob.
Rob64: Statement of gratitude.
MMM: How entertaining! Thanks for the awesome submission, ZG!
(THIS EPISODE IS UNFINISHED! HELP FINISH IT BY SENDING IN A SUBMISSION!)
Comments Sausabe: I have several important questions for some of you. By which, naturally, I mean I'm making crappy up and hoping it will be very witty.
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- To Fox: How the Hell do you sit in recliners/couches et cetera? You have considerably large tail.
- to Slippy: Can you actually do anything useful?
- to Andross: You are very talented and handsome.
- to Krystal: Do your boobs have names? You should name your boobs. I'd do it if I were you. Script by Alex |
