MMM: Let me give you the basic premise. Ahem. Golden Sun, or GS as we call it, is an excellent RPG game where you and your party are traveling through a humoungous and gorgeous overworld map, through lively towns, and deep dungeons filled with mind bending puzzles, trying to stop these guys from unleashing the power of Alchemy *Points at Saturos and Menardi*

*Saturos and Menardi wave*

MMM: The power of Alchemy was sealed away long ago in order to prevent people from using it to take over the world, and Saturos and Menardi seek to unleash it upon the world. It is your job to stop them.

Isaac: This sounds like the briefing the people at Camelot gave me before we started making the game....

MMM: Continuing on....in your quest you will learn more and more powerful spells, known as Psynergy, and collect these small and powerful creatures called Djinni. The more Djinni you collect, the more powerful summons spells you can cast. The game plays almost like an epic movie! I highly recommend it even if you weren't going to submit to this column! It is a must for any RPG fan!

Camelot Official: *Hands MMM a wad of cash, Whispering* Thanks for the promotion...*Pops out*

MMM: *Snickers* Well thanks for the submission Brygi! I suggest you buy a used version and maybe come back here with more submissions later! In the mean time, here's the next submission from our faithful GS fan;

Nightingale

So, um, yeah.  The column's up, I take it.  W00t.  *rolls her eyes*  Who am I kidding?  I LIVE FOR THIS STUFF!!!!  MWAHAHAHAHA!!!  *MMM brandishes his tranquilizer gun*  *Nightingale calms herself down immediately*  Y'know, MMM, you might not want to use that in this column.  Since in their world, tranquilizer guns don't exist, it'd probably kill the characters, or something.  Ask Ivan to do a Sleep.  It'd probably work just as well. 
On to the questions!  >>CONTAINS SPOILERS<<
Isaac and Felix:  Okay.  The main characters.  Except that there's a problem.  Why don't you guys ever talk in the games you star in (GS1 and 2, respectively)?  I mean, in the first one, Felix talked like he was a normal person, but the most we ever hear from Isaac is the occasional "..." and once, a "!!!"  Vice versa for GS2.  Do you become mute once you get a starring role?  Why the wall of silence?  Come on!  ANSWER ME!
Piers:  How old are you, really?  Come on, you can tell me! 
Sheba:  All right!  Short hair enthusiast!  *gives her Tomegathericon*  Because we all know you wanted it.  Now you can be evil!  (Not that you would... *rolls her eyes sarcastically*)
MMM:  ...  How can you have Saturos and Menardi in the studio, if they're ... you know ... dead?  Wouldn't it be more appropriate to have Karst and Agatio?  Or are they dead too?  I'm all confused...
Garet:  How do you get your hair to stick up like that?  Do you use the same hair gel as Vegeta? 
Mia:  All right!  Another mountain girl!  (Okay, not technically mountains, but cold climate.)  *gives her a Cookie*
Let's see, who else...
Kraden:  Where did you get those baggies to put the Elemental Stars in, anyway?  Lemuria?  A seedy bar on the other side of the galaxy?  WERE THEY IN YOUR PANTS POCKET?
Ivan:  *reminded of Feizhi*  That's not fair, man.  I was going to adopt you.  *pouts for a little bit*
Jenna:  Are you a natural redhead?  (Sorry, I'm running low on ideas here.)  How would you dye your hair, anyway?  Do I want to know?
Alex:  The biggie.  The head honcho.  The top dog.  The man in charge.  The big cheese.  The -- *smacked by MMM*... Alex, actually  Ow.  *over-enunciating, robot-like*  Well.  How rude of you.  For shame.  *stops over-enunciating*  Um... now I can't remember what I was going to ask you.  Oh yeah.  How is it that you can teleport anywhere, instantly, instead of having to hunt around for magical circles on the ground? 
Well, I think that's everyone.  *glances at list again*  Yep.  So that means I'm gonna have to end this submission soon.  *sadness*  Oh!  One last thing.  *hugs everyone with blue hair*

*MMM and the characters are daunted by the giant block of text that is this submission*

MMM: *Tosses away his tranquilizer with an apprehensive look*

Mia: Don't worry MMM, I'm sure none of us will go spastic like Shadow from the Sonic Column.

Karst: *Pops in* I've got cabbage and I know how to use it! *Brandishes cabbage*

MMM: ¡Por Dios!

Felix: Translation?

MMM: I was swearing in Spanish so as not to offend anyone. But I have bigger issues now, Ivan, SLEEP HER!

Ivan: Roger that! *Casts Sleep on Karst*

Karst: Zzzzzzzzzz.....

MMM: *Tosses Karst's limp body offstage* ON TO THE QUESTIONS!!!

Isaac: It is standard RPG code for the main character to be mute! That way the person who is playing can project his own dialogue into the game! And the fact that Felix glued my mouth shut at the beginning of the game didn't help either. I just had to do it back to him before the start of his game too....*Snickers*

Piers: My age is something only me family shall know!

MMM: I'll give you $50.

Piers: *Grabs money* 1555 years strong.

Sheba: *Stashes Tomegathericon* Yee hee!

MMM: There's a little secret in game production called 'Stunt Doubles'

Menardi: I never even came close to danger!

Garet:  I don't use hair gel...........................I use hair spray! "For all your RPG Hair Needs, use Spike O' Matic! Guaranteed to make you look like a Conehead in less than 5 minutes!"

Mia: *Eats cookie* Many thanks!

Kraden: I bought the Mithril bags from these suspicious looking Dwarves in a deep mine. Cost me a good 150,000 coins too!

Jenna: Well usually Fire Adepts are all naturally Red Heads, but I had to dip my head in a vat of Cranberry juice to get mine this way!

Alex: I can teleport with this little trinket! *Holds up a Golden Sun shaped amulet* Instant teleportation to anywhere, anytime!

MMM: Well that wraps up that monstrous submission! Many thanks Nightingale! That was an excellent way to start the First chapter! Here's the next submission from:

Tigerlily

Sheba: You're very quiet, shy, and nice girl. Do you have feelings for Felix? Are you and Ivan related to each other?
Mia: Is Alex your brother or your cousin since your somwhat related to him and what about Picard is he like your brother or your cousin too?
Jenna: Have you ever wish that your brother, Felix to change his mind not be partners Saturos and Menardi.
Karden: Are you going to make your own story with your adventures with your friends?
Jenna and Felix: If you are both brothers and sisters then why you didn't you both have the same hair style?
Thanks and happy Holidays.

Sheba: *Looks at Felix* Uhhh, no. He's a bit old for me. And I don't believe I'm related to Ivan, but I was dropped out of the sky so I don't know for sure.

Mia: Picard???? Oh you must mean Piers. Picard must be his Japanese name. And Alex is my uncle's second cousin on my mother's father's side....I think....It gets confusing.

Jenna: Have you played the Lost Age Tigerlily? Because We all team up in that game to form a party of 8!

Kraden: Why yes, I'm writing my own novel now about our adventures, it's called "Adventures in Alchemy with Isaac and Friends", and only 5789 pages to go!

Jenna: Actually, we do have to same hair, but I dye my hair red.

MMM: Well thanks for that submission Tigerlily! Here's the next one from:

Blue Lucied

To all: Like Brygi, I havent played Golden Sun, but I have played it a little bit. My little brother actually had it for a little while, but he lost it. (the Evil!!) So please don't get offended if I ask Stupid questions...
*Hi-Fives Saturos and Menardi.* Yes! More evil and criminally insane people to plot with!! Wh00tness! Can you guys tell me why you would go through such a long plot line just to unleash the power of Alchemy though? You havent ever heard of world domination through the economy and polotics.. Have you?
To the good people: What was your favorite Djinni? Not the ones really based on your elements. And what was up with the picture in the guide book? Do the Djinni like to stick on to people?
*Wacks MMM with Interdimensional hammer*  Bad MMM! GS is a proud product of the Nintendo Corperation! Don't make me hurt you for false advertising promted by Bribes!
Aww. I wana adopt Ivan! His element is wind! Wind is he coolest element! (Next to fire!)
I wanna kidnap Garet and Ivan and keep them at my secret Lair!
This one question is from my sibling, who has played Golden Sun, before he LOST IT!
To Garet: Do know if there is anything going on btween Isaac and Mia...?
I swear I'm not responsible for my sibling!

MMM: *Pats BL on the shoulder* You poor poor soul. You should ask your parents for a copy for Christmas!

Saturos: If we were to tell you the true reason for releasing Alchemy, it would be a catastrophic plot spoiler for you who have not played through the game! We, unlike you, have mercy with spoilers. We commandeth thee to purchase yon game!

Isaac: Wheeze is an excellent Djinn from the lost age! Call the Grim Reaper on your foes, and they die after 4 turns!

MMM: Fool! Golden Sun was created by Camelot and licensed by Nintendo! *Shakes his arms in the air*

*Mia and Isaac glance at each other for a moment* Mia and Isaac: Naaaahhhhh, :P

MMM: Good submission BL! Just remember that thievery is not the answer. Here's the next submission from:

Tigerlily

Sheba: You are my fav girl character cause you look all nice and quiet.
Ivan: You must've been shocked that you have so many Ivan fans! Also I'm an Ivan fan myself. ^_^
Jenna: I got stuck while playing Lost age and same thing goes to that first one only except I got completly lost at the end, It's not batteries, it's not losing, I just got lost on which way to go. @_@ *feels dizzy*
Garet: Your funny you are my 1st fav character on Golden Sun I can't resist your funny jokes! ^_^

Sheba: Thank you! I'm proud to be one of the most well mannered members of the team.

Ivan: I thought everyone would like Sheba more than me! It's good to know alot of people like me! ^.^

Jenna: You can ask for help you know! If you're still stuck, MMM, the guys and I can help you out! We're here for humor and help too!

Garet: *Puts on funny big nose and mustache glasses and hits Isaac with a cream pie*

Isaac: *Grumbles and wipes pie off his face*

MMM: Good old slapstick! *High fives Garet* Thanks for the excellent submission Tigerlily! Here's the next submission from:

Tigerlily

Sheba: It doesn't matter my dad is 4 years older than mom.
So you and Felix are fine.
Felix: What's your favorite weapon?
Isaac: Same goes for you.
Mia: How do you get that Water Djinn? Did your father give it to you?
Garet: Which girls you liked best? Mia, Sheba, or Jenna?

Sheba: Actually, I think that Felix is at least 9-12 years older than me, and even if I'm wrong he's not my kinda guy. And I'd like to get together with another Wind Adept as well.

Felix: Absolutely the Sol Blade. It's special attack, Megiddo, does around 800-900 damage! And the way it makes you jump into the air and knock a sun down at your enemies looks soooo cool!

Isaac: I like the Darksword, which you forge from Dark Matter. Acheron's Grief is such an awesome attack! All you need is a Cleric's Ring and ta-da! Perfect!

Mia: I found that Mercury Djinn wandering around the base of Mercury Lighthouse, and it joined me without a fuss.

Garet: I think Jenna's really cute....*Winks at Jenna*

Jenna: *Sweatdrop*

MMM: Well thanks for the submission Tigerlily! Here's the next one from:

Zephyr Analea

Ivan: was your being polite in the game only acting? and do you like any of
the girls there?
Isaac, Garet, & Jenna: how long have you three been friends?
Felix: i haven't played the second GS game, so i wanna know this: have you
EVER returned to your hometown after that storm?

~Zephyr Analea

Ivan: No, I actually do try to be polite in real life. And nobody here seems to be the right person for me.

Garet: That's right! Jenna and I are the item couple for this column!

Jenna: Grrrrr....we are NOT!

Isaac: We've known each other for most of our lives, and they've always been like this....*Points at Jenna who is whacking Garet with an oversized Anime Hammer*

Felix: Yes, we returned to Vale at the end of the second game...and that's all I'm gonna say without spoiling the plot for you.

MMM: Thanks for the short but cool submission Zephyr! Here's the next submission from:

Nightingale

Hello.  Sorry for the huge block of text, but you know how it is.  You've gotta get your foot in the door!  Anyway, some snide comments -- I mean questions...
I thought Isaac and Jenna were the item couple...  *gets out Attract-O-Vision goggles*  *sees Isaac and Jenna tied together with an iron chain*  Yep, I thought so.  *puts goggles away*
Ivan:  I still say it isn't fair.  You should be my brother instead of her's.  (It's a spoiler.)
Ivan and Sheba:  Why can't you guys use Psynergy to attack just one person?  And I mean attack, like doing damage.  Is that part of being a wind Adept?  In that case, I'm glad I'm a water Adept.  (Yes, I am.  I'm assuming that astrology decides one's Adept-ness.)
Piers:  You're a water Adept, like Mia.  (And me, actually.)  But you're also the captain of a ship.  You'd think that ice in the water around a ship and on the ship itself would be a bad thing.  Slippery.  So then, why does almost all of your Psynergy revolve around ice attacks, including some that Mia doesn't have?  *cough-Diamond-Berg-cough*  It's not like you come from the far north or anything. 
That's it, I guess.  But I shall return, once I figure out how to cast Ply Well.  *starts practicing on squirrels again*
~Chaos, panic, and disorder:  my work here is done.~

*Isaac and Jenna blush beet red*

Ivan: .............

Sheba: Have you ever seen wind touch only one person at a time? That's why. Wind does not just form a sphere around one person, it blows over everyone.

Piers: Well a good captain has to defend his ship no matter the risk, not to mention Jenna or Garet could easily clear away the ice with their fire spells.

MMM: I think you might find this useful. *Hands her 'The Complete Guide to casting spells with Ply in their names"* Thanks for the submission! And now, the last one for the chapter! It's from:

ZephyrAnalea

Question for Garet!
How do you style your hair to stand up the way it does? That must take a lot of hair-gel...

Garet: It's called "Port Plus Gravity Defying Ultra Hold, Vegeta Formula." Its holding strength is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!

MMM: *bashesm Garet with massive Anime Hammer* Overused Memes will earn you a mallet to the head here.

Saturos: O RLY?

MMM: *bashes Saturos* YA RLY.

*The rest of the characters are silent*

MMM: Anyone else feel the need to quote an old meme? Perhaps 'All your base'?

*Silence*

MMM: Good, that's what I thought. Now's a good time to close the chapter, what with two characters lying unconscious on the floor. Thanks for all the submissions and see you next chapter!

None Yet... Vergial.MMM-AJ.com