Episode 6
MMM: Can you believe it folks? We’ve already started chapter 6!!!! This column is rocketing ahead of all the others! Now before we begin I have something to take care of…
If you believe I own Sonic, Sega, or any other related things, then you have five week old bologna for a brain.
MMM: And now onto chapter 6!!!!
*Audience is strangely quiet*
MMM: What? Where’s the applause??
*Strangling silence*
Sonic: It is a bad omen! The world shall be swallowed up in a fiery apocalypse!!!
MMM: Right…..Actually it just means that I have to turn on the canned applause…*Flips switch*
*Canned Applause*
MMM: Much better! Now on to the submission!
Nightingale
Hello Sonic peeps! I have a few questions about your new series,Sonic X.
Sonic: You know, it really is dangerous to stand on moving cars... at least you warned little kids not to do it. Aw, he fixed the bracelet! *floaty hearts*
Chris: You'd better not take over Tails' place as the "Sonic's best friend" person! If you do you will be lynched and your mansion robbed, and it will all be blamed on you, and not just by me! *shakes fist*
Knuckles: GAL-DARNIT, KNUXIE, WHY ARE YOU SO GULLIBLE? You're just far too trusting... but still, this is at least the ten-millionth time Robo-lard has tricked you! Geez Louise... You'd think after a while that you'd just stop listening to him... but nooooo... Ah well, it's what makes you special!
Tails: I LOVE those little paper-remote-controlled-airplane-dealies! I know you didn't tell "Grampa Chuck" how you did it, but could you tell me? Please?? I'll give you your Rhythm Badge back... *does funky breakdancing moves*
Danny: Just who the heck ARE you? *mutter* Bet he likes videogames and rappin'... *end mutter*
Amy: Are you happy with the filming of Episode 9? *wink* He's so sweet on the inside, isn't he?
Bokkun: Where did you get all those bombs? Can I have some? *sad puppy dog eyes... don't know if they'll work on a robot, but what the heck!*
MMM: Totally unrelated topic... There actually was a Sonic RPG, but it wasn't really... It was called Tails Adventures (for GameGear), and you went through all these fun levels, and you had Napalm Bombs... oh yes, those happy, happy, Napalm Bombs... *happy daydream mode*
~Chaos, panic, and disorder: my work here is done.
Sonic: Awww, but it’s fun to stand on the roofs of speeding cars! Almost as much fun as running from the police or jumping into people's pools!
Author: *Pops in* Innowaydoestheauthoractuallycondonethisbehavior. Thankyou. *Pops out*
Tails: Don’t worry, I had a little talk with Chris, and I managed to _persuade_ him to leave Sonic alone…*Flashes knife*
MMM: You go gangsta Tails!
Knuckles: I can’t think straight when Robotnik does the lazy eye! It’s like getting hit in the back of your head with a baseball bat!
Robotnik: *Eye twitches weirdly*
Knuckles: *Head twitches* ….MUST KILL SONIC!!!! MUST KILL SONIC!!!!
Sonic: Waves “Essence of Rotten Eggs” perfume bottle under Knuckles’ nose.
Knuckles: So stinky! Can’t think! *Head twitches* MUST KILL ROBOTNIK!!!! MUST KILL ROBOTNIK!!!
Sonic: Like putty in my hands…
MMM: Tsk tsk! Remember the rules! No mind control on stage!
Robotnik & Sonic: Sorry!
Tails: Paper please!
MMM: *Hands Tails sheet of paper*
Tails: Thank you. Folding music please!
MMM: *Fiddles with new sound equipment*
(Country music)
Tails: Not THAT Folding music!
MMM: Oops! Sorry *Fiddles with sound equipment*
(Classical music)
Tails: Thank you! *Turns around and begins folding furiously. After ten minutes he turns around holding a remote controlled paper plane* Here you go!
MMM: Sadly, Danny is not a part of this column. *Mutter* Maybe we could have him as a cameo later on…*End mutter*
Amy: *Blushes beet red* I can’t believe they actually aired that part! They told me it was going to be a directors cut! *Mutter mutter stupid director mutter mutter my agent will hear about this mutter mutter*
MMM: Bokkun isn’t here either! *Mutter mutter stupid new anime characters mutter mutter* And yes, napalm is good. *Talking slowly while drooling* Napalm good…*Snaps out of it* I wish I had a Game Gear! Anyways, thanks for the awesome submission! Here’s the next submission from:
Tigerlily
Mario: I know that Luigi is jealous of you but, don't push him so hard he may jump higher but, people still like you like Goomario and Peach.
Amy: My fav. color is pink too! ^_^
Rogue: You should leave Knuckles alone, Sonia and Knuckles make a great couple! I don't think he likes bad guys like you. (no offense)
Knuckles: How many times you see your grandpa in real life?
Mario: I know-a people like me-a more! I’m-a Mario! I’ve-a starred in a hundred and forty games and-a counting!
Amy: Fellow pink enthusiast! Let me show you my pink paints collection! *Pulls handful of paint tubes out of purse*
MMM: That doesn’t seem like much…
Amy: *Pulls another handful out of her pocket*
MMM: That’s still not too much!
Amy: *Pulls another handful out of her other pocket*
MMM: Yawn…
Amy: *Pulls a handful out of her underwear, and handful out of her shoes, and a handful out of her mouth*
MMM: Now THAT’S scary!
Rouge: for the last time, I do NOT have a crush on knuckles! It may have looked like it in that awkward moment in SA2:B, but my god, it’s interspecies! That’s disgusting!
Knuckles: Hey! I don’t have a crush on Sonia either! You need to be solitary to be a good guardian! And I’ve only seen my Grandpa a few times…although I’m not sure about the exact amount.
MMM: Thanks for the better than average submission Tigerlily! Here’s onefrom our newest submitter:
HangTenny
I'd like to give a shout out to my three personal favorites; Sonic, Knuckles, and Shadow...you guys rule!!! (Also, a quick note to the author....give Shadow a little more time on air ;)
And of course...*exhales loudly* my questions.
1. Eggman: If you are so bothered by people teasing you about your weight...why do you wear such tight clothes???
2. Shadow: Now that SA2: battle is over...are you friends with the everyone on the hero side of the game? Even just a little?
3. And finally...my last one is to Sonic & Knuckles: Has Eggman ever beaten you once in a battle? I want to know...even though I highly doubt it...lol
Sonic: HELLO HANGTENNY! WE’RE SHOUTING BACK!
Knuckles: THAT’S RIGHT!
Sonic: NEXT TIME THOUGH, HOW ‘BOUT YOU KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN?
MMM: I don’t think that’s what he/she meant…(I’m a bad judge of names so I’ll just put he/she down… I’m so embarrassed…)
Robotnik: Hmm…that’s not a bad idea! Excuse me MMM I’ll be right back! *Runs off to the dressing room*
Shadow: *Creeps into the studio, whispering to self* This time they’ll pay, right explodey?
Shadow’s Bazooka: ….
Shadow: Well put my explosive friend…LET’S KICK A$$!!!
Sonic: Run for you’r life! He’s got rubber duckies! *Runs out of the studio*
Shadow: NOW YOU’LL PAY FOR EXCLUDING ME!!!!! *Shoots rubber duckies out of bazooka, pummeling the remaining characters*
Tails: IT’S THE BATH TOY APOCALYPSE!!!!!
MMM: *Getting pummeled by duckies* Sigh…..not again.
Author: *Pops in* I’m just giving the fans what they want! *Pops out*
Shadow: Revenge is sweet! Like Cheap whipped topping! EAT RUBBER MMM!!!!!
MMM: The things I do to amuse the submitters…sigh…*Ducky lands in mouth*
Robotnik: Hahahahahaha!!! Your rubber bath toys have no effect on my super blubber armor!!!
Shadow: I guess I’ll have to pull out the big guns then… *Loads bazooka with fudge cupcakes and fires a new round*
Robotnik: Must…resist…urge to snarf… I CAN’T DO IT!!! *Dives down onto floor and stuffs face*
MMM: OOOHHH!!! CHOCOLATE!!!! *Joins Robotnik on the floor*
Sonic: *Pokes head back in* I don’t think it’s safe to come back in….*Grabs microphone and ducks out*…I’ll just answer your last question in audio only…
*Camera is still centered on MMM and Robotnik eating rabidly while Shadow laughs maniacally*
Sonic: I’ve had temporary losses, like the time I got roboticized, but I always win in the end! This looks like another battle I need to win too, but I can’t beat fudge….hmmmm…
*Back in the studio, Shadow was still laughing over his victory when suddenly a plot hole opens up under him*
Shadow: What? Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! *Disappears into the void*
MMM: Ahhh, the sweet diet-breaking taste of fudge…*Face is covered in fudge*
Sally: I think you need to open the next submission MMM…
MMM: *Snaps out of it* Oh, yes, of course! Thanks for the awesome submission HangTenny! This one induced quite a bit of randomness! Here’s the next one from another welcomed new member:
Brygi63
Greetings, Everyone.
I'm a first time writer, so I'll make a question/comment for everyone. Let's begin:
Sonic: How did you do that cool move where you collect a path of rings really fast?
Eggman: Why don't you use the master emerald to power your world-domination machines? That way, Sonic can't use the Chaos Emeralds to defeat it.
Knuckles: I suggest you selfishly guard the Master Emerald from now on...
Rouge: It's safe to say you're the hottest of the Sonic characters.
Shadow: I can safely say you'll never get a girlfriend.
Tails: You're the best character in the series. The Cyclone is awesome! I was hoping you found a girl to be steady with...you sure you're not gay?
Amy: You love Sonic, but you seem to accept the relationship between Sally and him. Kudos to you!
Sally: What was the other movie you didn't show us? Don't show me if it's disturbing.
MMM: Get rid of Mario and put Megaman in his place. Better yet, put Zero in his place.
Cream: Just who the heck are you???</i>
Sonic: *Bursts in, holding a giant stick of asparagus* WHERE’S SHADOW??? I’M READY FOR HIM!!!!
MMM: You’re a bit late…about 15 seconds actually.
Sonic: Darn! I guess I’ll answer the question then. *Reads submission* Oh yeah, that trick kicked ass! The bracelet created a platform underneath the rings, and then I’d simply exercise a little acceleration power!
Robotnik: Actually, the way the Master Emerald works is kind of like a double edged razor. The Chaos emeralds have the power to stop it, but it also can stop them…at least, I think….Aw darn I’m confused!
Knuckles: *Laughing hard* I don’t think there’s any need to worry, even if he steals it, he’s too stupid to make it work! *Sits back and sips a soda*
Rouge: Ahh, you have very good taste my friend…do you have any gems perchance?
MMM: I can safely say that if Shadow does in fact ever get a girlfriend, it won’t be any girl like I’VE ever seen before.
Robotnik: He’ll probably get an android…maybe I’ll make a killing building it for him!
Tails: Yes, the Cyclone is cool…now MMM what would be the appropriate answer to the second part??? Sonic always gets angry whenever someone says that word, so what should I do????
MMM: I suggest you say “NO”.
Tails: Ok. NO.
Sally: How dare you insinuate that I own dirty movies! I simply used that movie for my own monetary gain and to embarrass the hell out of
MMM: HECK out of!
Sally:…heck out of Sonic! I don’t own any dirty movies, but if you want I can dig into my “Embarrassing Tapes of Tails” stash next!
Tails: Noooooooo!!!
Sonic: *Laughs* Now it’s your turn!
Sally: But not until I hear some bids!
MMM: Well friend, I’m afraid that Mario was requested as a cameo, and he’ll be here for the rest of this chapter. But as soon as it’s over, it will be my highest pleasure to plant my boot in his rear and watch him scramble out of the studio while I sick the dogs on him….sorry, got carried away there. But back on track, after Mario leaves, you can make your own cameo request. And Cream isn’t in here. I have the same problem as you, I have no freakin clue as to who she is, except that she’s related to the Sonic games. Anyways, thanks for the nice long submission! I look forward to your next one! Here’s one from our returning fav:
ZeldaGamer69
Hey Sonic peeps! I just got back from vacation, AGAIN!!! It seems that if I’m not on one big trip I’m on another. So I’ve never had time to send in any new questions. But since I’m back, I’ll send a few your way!
#1: Sonic: What is your position on American Politics? Do you even know anything about American politics? Do you know where America is?
#2: Rouge: I understand you’re an accomplished jewel thief. What do you think about legally mining your own gems? If you just dug up your own gems, then you wouldn’t have to worry about getting arrested.
*SPOILER*
#3: MMM: What’s your problem with Shadow? He seems like a nice guy to me. After all, he did help Sonic save the world at the end of SA2:B
*/SPOILER*
That’s all 4 now. Cya l8er guys!
Sonic: Good to see ya again! Things have been getting weirder and weirder around here, so be warned. As to your question, I do know what America is, but I’d like to decline from giving any comment.
MMM: Bawk bawk bawk!
Sonic: Sticks and stones MMM, sticks and stones.
MMM: Whatever. *Holds up Sonic’s paycheck, and a pair of scissors*
Sonic: Eep! Well, if you must know I think Bush is an idiot, plain and simple. But since I don’t live in America, I don’t really have a strong opinion.
Rouge: Why dig up the gems when I can let humans mine them and refine them for me, then steal them for myself? Besides, I’ve already vowed that ALL the gems in the world will be mine, even if I need to steal each and every one!
MMM: I know how Shadow was, but that was only because of what Maria wanted! Now he hears Maria in his head, and she tells him to kill people! So I’m going to try to refrain from bringing him in, unless demand gets too great. But anyways, thanks for the submission! Here’s the next one from the newly renamed:
BabyTenny
Hey guys! It's me, hangtenny...just...um, whatever. Anyway, since your responses turned out weirder than I expected...I have some more questions for you.
First one is to Tails: Have you ever considered going on the Ripley's believe it or not show? A talking, walking, two-tailed fox...mwahahahahaha that would be great!
And yeah, I'd have to agree with ZeldaGamer69...I think Shadow is a nice guy too...it's just that Maria chick who is clouding his poor mind. We need to fix that...
Sonic & Knuxie: I'm going to wave this time: *waves*
And finally, Eggman: did those new clothes work???
I got to go...be back soon...*chaos control*
Tails: Well, I would have if Sonic hadn’t entered himself in it and taken all the surprise and fame at anthropomorphs in human society. But I don’t mind, I’m like Luigi is to Mario, I hang in the shadows and catch anything that falls back for me! And it’s more than enough!
MMM: Sonic, you really did brainwash the poor kid didn’t you?
Sonic: *Whistles innocently*
Tails: I’ll have you know that his “Essence of rotten Eggs” does not work on me! Nor does Robotnik’s lazy eye!
Robotnik: *Eye twitches*
Tails: I am unaffected!
Sonic: *Waves perfume under Tails’ nose*
Tails: Still unaffected!
*Waves twenty dollar bill under Tails’ nose*
Tails: Your wish is my command master!
MMM: I thought as much.
Sonic: *Laughs, and then waves back to BabyTenny*
Robotnik: *Wearing a robe, his flab hangs out underneath him, dragging like a slug* I feel like a million bucks! I feel like a great pressure has been lifted off of me!
(Close up on Robotnik’s blubber) *Violins from psycho: REEK REEK REEK REEK REEK*
MMM: My eyes!!!!!!
Tails: IT’S THE FLAB APOCOLYPSE!!!
MMM: In the name of all things good and sane, PLEASE CHANGE BACK INTO YOUR TIGHT SUIT!!!!!!!
Robotnik: *Sighs and heads back to the dressing room*
MMM: I think the next submission aught to help get that horrendous image out of my head…It’s from:
Tigerlily
Mario: I like the game Paper Mario it's awsome! It's RPG game that the charaters look likes paper and your attacks is awsome also your friends that help you out is cool too.
Knuckles: Sorry for the crush over.....
Rogue: Don't be so greedy.
Amy: I feel sorry for you and you're a cute charater! ^_^ I made a human form of you as cute pink-hair girl. ^_^
Mario: I-a hated making Paper Mario! Being pressed into a paper thin image of-a myself was not fun! Almost as-a painful as that-a E-Reader commercial was-a for DK Junior!
Knuckles: Hey, just remember one thing, Taboo stuff doesn’t go over well here. Otherwise you’re fine!
Sonic: May I once again bring up the issue of Sally being Tails’ Aunt?????
*Strained silence*
Sonic: Shutting up.
Rouge: I’m greedy and I’m proud! Just like Wario!
Mario: Don’t-a ever mention that name around me again! *Shudders with horror*
MMM: Looks like we’ve just uprooted some awful trauma! Sega characters, you know what to do!
Sonic: IT’S EXPLOITIN’ TIME!!!!
Sally: YEEE-HAW!!!
*Sonic characters dance around Mario chanting ‘Wario! Wario!’*
Mario: *Cries and curls up in the fetal position*
MMM: Bwahahahaha!!!! Ok guys, that’s enough for now. But if he starts acting up again, you know what to do!
Sonic: *Rolling on the floor laughing*
Mario: *Whispering* The horror…..the horror…
MMM: *Laughs uncontrollably, then recovers himself* Okay, thanks for that awesome submission Tigerlily!
Amy: Wait! I hadn’t gotten my answer in!
MMM: Be my guest!
Amy: I know I’m cute!
*Silence*
MMM: That’s it?
Amy: Yup!
MMM: OK THEN!!! Thanks for the submission Tigerlily! Here’s the next submission from:
BabyTenny
Hey hey, how is everyone? I've heard about your new TV series, Sonic X...but hahaha...I don't know much about it. Like the storyline for example...I've heard that all the characters get brought into the human world for some reason, and some random kid saves Sonic from drowning. Does anyone know what else happens? Thanks.
Oh yeah...that new character, Cream. And her chao, Cheese. How did they get involved with the whole Sonic gaming stuff? Mwahahahaha...Cream cheese. Hmmm, speaking of, i'm hungry lol. talk to you all later!
<3 BabyTenny *chaos control*
MMM: Honestly I also know next to nothing about Sonic X myself. Sonic, do you think you can fill us in on it?
Sonic: BT pretty much summed it up. I get transported to the human world, and stuff happens.
MMM: What kind of stuff???
Sonic: Stuffy stuff.
MMM: *Rolls eyes* Right……….
Author: *Pops in* I would watch Sonic X, if I knew what channel and what time it showed on! So as of now, I’m completely clueless. >_<*
MMM: *Sighs* I know that that Cream is in Sonic Advance 2, but that’s about all I know. Seeing as that I’m just the author’s alter ego, I know just as little about this chapter of Sonic history as he does.
Author: He’s right! We’re clueless!
MMM: Get back to writing you!
Author: *Sighs and Pops out*
MMM: *Eating mayonnaise* The only thing tastier than cream cheese is plain mayo! *Holds up “Tub o’ Industrial Size Mayo” for the camera* Anyways, here’s the next submission from:
Brygi63
Hey, guys. I think triple M is getting tired of me, so I'll get right to the point.
Tails: You know the bow you used to make Sally fall in love with Rotor? Well, I kinda need it. You see, Link over there (points to the Zelda Column) is having some girl trouble, so I was wondering if I could give it to him. I'll pay well for it (shows a blue Chaos Emerald to them). And don't think of using it or giving me a fake, or else I'll give Sally $100,000 to show your embarrassing video. Are we on the same plane? Good. And remember, I'm watching you...
MMM: Nah, I’m not tired of you! You just gotta remember to follow the rules and everybody’s happy.
Tails: Whoo boy, giving you the bow would be giving the license of creating more craziness!
Sonic: Like it matters…It’s in another column, so it’s not our problem!
Sally: Besides, look which tape I’ve got! *Holds up tape with the words ‘Unicorn party’ on it*
Tails: *Sweating profusely* Ok you can have it! *Tosses Love Bow to Brygi63*
MMM: It’s a good thing I’m the host of the other column as well, so that I might witness the randomness that Brygi will instate there…this will be good! For now, here’s the next submission from:
Tigerlily
Mario: I feel sorry for you.....are you all right? Why does Bowser keep kidnapping the princess Peach or Taodstool(Man, I'm confuse!)? Shoudn't he stop and face it that you beat him alot of times.
Mario: How come Princess Peach has another name like Toadstool.
Rogue: Being greedy is not good besides that you should think and learn that some gems or jewels have curses well not in real life well think about it.
Robotnic: *giggles* Nice funny robe outfit. ^_^
Amy: You almost as cute as Woolen. ^_^ (Woolen is from Bust-a-move 4 I love that game!)
And finally....
Mario: *gives him a loveable hug* You're so cute!!!
Mario: *Recovers from his trauma* If-a anyone one of-a you Sega characters mentions that name again, I’ll
Sonic: Wario!
Mario: *Shudders* Ok, I’ll-a behave! Just let-a me answer Tigerlily’s question! Well, Bowser has-a always had this delusion that if he kidnaps the Princess, he’ll-a be able to take over the Mushroom Kingdom. You know, something like-a hostage and then he gets complete control. But he-a doesn’t know that I’ll-a always be there to rescue the-a princess! And Toadstool is Peach’s last name, just-a to clear up-a that confusion.
Rouge: I don’t care what anybody thinks! All the world’s jewels are mine! Even the cursed ones!
Robotnik: *Walks back into the studio still in his robe*
MMM: *Covers eyes* I though I told you to change back into your suit!
*REEK REEK REEK REEK REEK*
Robotnik: Well, the thing is that I can’t fit all the flab back in! I first put this suit on when I was normal sized and grew into it! Now I can’t get back in!
MMM: Well that’s WONDERFUL! I guess I’ll have to use the laminator then…*Pulls lever*
Robotnik: What laminator?
*Hole opens up under Robotnik*
Robotnik: bye bye… *Falls in*
*The sound of clanking and chugging is heard, and Robotnik pops back out of the hole.*
Robotnik: Wow! I got a new tight suit, only it’s made out of tight plastic! *Sits down, making a squeak noise* Cool! Super squeaking ACTION! *Flexes arms, making a squeak that could break glass*
Sonic: Argh! The sound is almost as bad as the flab!
MMM: Still not as bad though.
Amy: Thank you! Maybe you’d be interested in this? *Hands Tigerlily a card with “The Amy Club” written on it*
Mario: *Not sure how to respond to being hugged* Well, I’ve been-a called cute before…but a girl has never hugged me-a before unless I’ve-a paid her!
MMM: Thin ice Mario!
Mario: It’s-a true!
MMM: Whatever. Thanks for the submission Tigerlily! This ends chapter 6, I’ll see ya’ll in chapter 7!
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