Episode 8
MMM: Welcome welcome, to Chapter 8!!! I must say that this Column has really been taking leaps and bounds! I'm not sure what to say, except DISCLAIMER TIME!
Me? Own Sonic the Hedgehog? Ha. Ha ha, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
MMM: Well shall we get started?
*Curtains open*
MMM: Now, here's the first submissions from:
Brygi63
WHOA!!! We're on chapter 8 already?! Only two more episodes left, and you guys are gone. That's cool, and sad. *Sniff* I'm gonna miss you guys...anyway...Oh, don't tell me Amy's still in a daydream. *Sigh*(Casts Thunder on Amy) Now, on to the submission.
Sally: you've got yourself a deal! *Exchanges money for the tape*
Turbo Tails: Behave, you. Just because I was nice enough to give you the emerald doesn't mean you get to abuse your Super power. You do, and I show the tape. Got it?
MMM: You misunderstand Brygi! We aren't going to 10 chapters, we're going for 20! We've still got 12 chapters to go after this one!
Robotnik: Mmmmmm, 12 more chapters worth of free food! *Chomps down 5 whole fried chickens at once*
Sally: *Gives tape and takes money* Hehehe...you hold in your hands there great powers...of blackmail! Enjoy!
Turbo Tails: With great power, comes great responsibility...
Robotnik: *Gags on his chicken*
MMM: I think at some point we should just play the video without provocation, wouldn't you agree Brygi? Hehehe, thanks for the submission anyways, and congrats in your placement in the hall of fame! Here's the next submission from:
Tigerlily
Robotnik: *gives a box of mooncakes which has six cakes* Here ya go! ^_^
Sonic: You have to be nice to Amy! Besides that you need to be nice to the ladies.
Amy: My cousin named my dog Amy 2 years ago! ^_^ And my god sister (pretend sister) is named Amy too! ^-^
Rouge: There is a girl from Powerstone and Powerstone 2 who has a name just like you too! o_o
Hehheh...thanks see ya ~_^.
Robotnik: *Pauses his eating the chickens to eat the mooncakes* Mmmm....moon-y!
Sonic: It's not like I don't like getting attention from ladies, but Amy is just scary! I mean, look at that!
Amy: *Hugging stuffed Sonic so hard its head rips off* Oops... Ah well, I have a whole basement full of them!
Sonic: See? Scary!
Amy: *Hands Tigerlily a tube of pink paint* For you! Fellow Pink paint enthusiast!
Rouge: With the population explosion we're seeing in the world, I'm not surprised there's a shortage of new names. Maybe we need to make up new names?
Knuckles: Oh! I know! I can be Xeckledorf!
*Once again, strained silence*
MMM: Well thanks for that submission Tigerlily! Here's the next one from:
Nightingale
Turbo Tails: Eeee! Cutie! =^_^= Where do you get the cape from? Do you borrow someone's curtains, or does it just... appear? o.O Don't worry, it's a cute cape.
Tails Doll (is he there?): What's with that... thing... coming out of your head? It makes you look like a Pikmin. Speaking of which:
Knuckles: I got another batch of Blues for you! *brings in bag of blue Pikmin*
*crazy stares from other characters*
... What? He eats Pikmin, you all must know that. I have proof (thanks to Team Artail, since they got the picture, not me):
http://www.teamartail.com/sonicx/17/images/038knuckles.jpg
If that doesn't prove it, nothing will. Am I being crazier than normal? Sorry, it must be the polyurethane fumes creeping throughout my house.
~Chaos, panic, and disorder: my work here is done.~
Turbo Tails: Chaos Emerald Power produces the cape through the wonders of teleportation! *Waves his fingers on the last part*
*Everyone looks around, not seeing any sign of a doll in the likeness of Tails*
Knuckles: *Takes bag of Pikmin, hands Nightingale a sack of money* Mmmmm.....this batch smells divine!
Sonic: Are you gonna share those?
Knuckles: It's five bucks a Pik!
Sonic: Forget you man!
MMM: This is truly disgusting......I wonder how long it took Team Artail to photoshop that leaf onto Knuckles' mouth?
Knuckles: But it's true! They taste like chicken! Blue.....chicken.
MMM: Meh, either way, I want polyurethane fumes too!!
Knuckles: *Munches Pikmin*
Pikmin: Aiiiiiiiiii!!!!!
MMM: That is truly horrifying, but thanks for the submission anyways! Here's the next submission from:
Brygi63
Of course this column is taking leaps and bounds. Who doesn't like Sonic...games? Ya know, I should show the video. *creepy orchestra music* They're still doing that? Sheesh. Anyway...
Tails: I sorta hate to do this to you, but...*casts Stop on Tails, steals Chaos Emeralds, ties Tails to the chair, and finally unfreezes him* you've lost your right to be Turbo Tails. And to move freely.
Rouge: Here ya go *gives her a Chaos Emerald*. And uh...nice costume. Can you show me it again when the episode is over? (MMM whacks Brygi on the head) Hehe...sorry. Here. You play it. Please. *hands the tape to MMM*
*grin* This should be good *takes popcorn from the table, and sits on the floor*
Tails: *Tied up and gagged*
MMM: Yah! Time for the real Unicorn Party! *Hands tape to Bob the cameraman*
Bob: *Sticks tape in his ear*
MMM: There is no such thing as good help these days....*Plugs the tape in himself*
(Begin playing Video)
*Screen is creeping through the bushes Blair Witch Style*
Sally: This is a Princess Sally Blackmail Productions© Video....we are approaching Tails' hut, where a little Birthday Party is taking place........
*Screen approaches a little hut where happy Barney-esque music is booming*
(Interrupt video)
Robotnik: *Holds camcorder to bootleg a copy*
Tails: *Struggles Violently in his bonds*
Rouge: *Eating pie*
(Continue Video)
*Screen has approached window in hut, giving view of interior*
Tails: Let's play pin the tail on the Unicorn!
Random kid: No! Let's all dress up as Unicorns!
Random kid 2: No! Let's bake Unicorn Cookies in our "Fairy Magic Ezey Bake Oven"!
Tails: No! Let's do all three!
Random kids 1&2: Yay!!!!
*Tails and kids do so*
Tails: Now let's watch the 39 hour Teletubbies' and Barney Marathon! *Flips on TV*
Kids: Yay!
TV: Hug hug hug! Hug hug hug! Hug hug hug!
(Interrupt Video)
MMM: *Clutching his eyes* Safe daily Barney intake exceeded!!!!! Must....purge....memory banks! *Bangs head on wall*
Robotnik: *Throws cheese wheel at MMM, bonking him on the head*
MMM: Ahhh, thanks. *Eats cheese*
Sonic: I dearly hope that you don't believe everything the Purple Dinosaur says to you on TV Tails....
Tails: Naaah, it's all bullcrap. I know that the mystical powers of the mutant salami clones could easily defeat Chang’s legion of demon Joke Books!
MMM: Is that all? Well thanks for the submission Brygi! Here's the next one:
Brygi63
I don't think I'm even gonna comment on that video. *unties Tails, then looks at Amy. Amy's death hug beheads another Sonic doll* Sheesh! Amy really has it in for you, Sonic! If she was that strong when faced with a bunch of Eggman's robots, she might be useful.
Amy: I may not know anything on fashion, but you've gotta wear a dress that's a little more loose. I'm tired of seeing your underwear every time you bend over with your back to the camera, and the fact that I'm looking scares me. So please wear a different outfit.
By the way, Have you learned anything about Cream and Cheese yet? When you do, can you put her on the show? It doesn't matter if she's a cameo or not; I just want to get the chance to ask her some questions. Thanks in advance.
Tails: No witty retort from you either? MMM?
MMM: Too easy.
Sonic: *Imagines Amy beheading Robotnik's robots* I've got an idea....*Whispers in Rotor's ear*
Rotor: Genious! Pure Genious! I'll get to work on it right away! *Dashes off*
Amy: *Beheads another doll* I've got other dresses, but....they're not pink!!!!! I always wear pink!
MMM: There were bolding, italics, AND underlining in that text string! Tone it down Amy! ....And yes I've found a bit out about Cream, I might let her come in for a cameo in a bit. But in the meantime, I've made a deal with Shadow, he can become a permanent part of this column if he agrees to consent to being tranquilized anytime his killing urge comes up!
Shadow: *Shakes hands with MMM* I'm honored to finally become a semi-tranquilized member of this column! W00t! *Dances the Macarena*
Tails: *Who is magically untied* I'm afraid.....
MMM: Ummm....well feel free to ask Shadow anything now! Thanks for the submission Brygi! Here's the next one:
Brygi63
Rotor's still here? I thought he left for good after MMM showed that video.
Shadow: where did you get those jet boots? And why do you know almost all of Sonic's moves? Are you his brother? His clone?
Sonic: Blue is an awesome color!
Knuckles: you shouldn't have eaten all those Pikmin, 'cuz now there are about 50 three-foot-tall Pikmin waiting outside to beat the living snot outta you. They wanna beat up Eggman, too (why am I not surprised?).
Tails: you really didn't do anything wrong while you were Turbo Tails, did you? Sorry. My bad. *takes back the emerald he gave to Rouge, then gives all seven back to Tails* You're...not mad that I tied you up, took away your powers and showed an embarrassing video of you, are you? Um...bye! *teleports off the set*
Rotor: I'm not giving up this much money just because of some silly video, I need the money for my inventing!
Shadow: The Ultimate Life Form already knows every move of his opponent! He has selected Sonic's moves because they are superior over all others! And the jet boots increase his already superior speed! He built them himself!
MMM: Oh god, Shadow's referring to himself in the 3rd person now?
Shadow: That's right! Shadow feels the need to improve his self esteem!
Sonic: *Claps Brygi a high five*
Knuckles: Let the Pikmin come! I'll hit them with this ice ray and stow them in my freezer for later eating! *Brandishes Ice gun*
*Pikmin burst through door*
Knuckles: *Freezes Pikmin* Ok, take em' away boys!
*Workmen come in and haul off frozen Pikmin*
Knuckles: Ahh, my stash is replenished!
Tails: *Transforms back into Turbo Tails*
Turbo Tails: I HAVE THE POWAH!!!!!
MMM: He's a regular He-Man. *Makes gagging sounds* Thanks for that submission Brygi. Here's the next one:
Tigerlily
Sonic: I saw what you did to Amy! You let Amy huggles you! I saw it on T.V. looks like Anime and you didn't run away or anything and you just smile at her while she hugs you and you blush too! In the comic you also save Amy and also reason Amy chase you so much is that you save her at the beginning.
Amy: Yep also it's very nice enough that you help that boy in that anime show.
Tails: You were there also, I saw you in that anime show too.
Knuckles: Wow Mr.Robotnik trick you again in that show!
Robotnik:*gives him shimp rolled* Sorry I'm out of mooncakes...
Sally: Some how I can't seem to find you in that anime show...
Thanks and have a great day!~ ~_^
Sonic: Yes but Amy hadn't developed into a rabid Fangirl by then. Since then she's gotten a bit extreme in her love....
Amy: *Hugs a Sonic doll made of steel, which snaps in half*
Sonic: She was kinda nice before she took those "Arms of Steel" exercise routines as well.
Amy: Are you talking about Sonic X? That show was so fun to make! Everybody was so nice! ^_^
Turbo Tails: I'm no longer called just Tails, it's Turbo Tails now! And yes I was in Sonic X as well.
Knuckles: I know, I know. Don't think Nightingale hasn't picked on me about it already.
*Nightingale giggles from some far off dimension*
Robotnik: I love shrimp!!!!! *Devours the roll* Hmmm, could use some Wasabi or Soy Sauce though, but still good!
Sally: I didn't get a part in that show sadly, they said the SatAM shows were good enough. Hmmmphhh!
MMM: Don't be getting all pompous on us here Sally... Princesses aren't as powerful as Kings you know.
Sally: All I need to do is find a King to marry so I can boot out Robotnik and rule Mobius as Queen!
MMM: 0_o I might need to pull out Mr. Tranquilizer here soon....thanks for the submission Tigerlily! Here's the next one from:
Tigerlily
Sonic: Would you put tonic on your feet to be very ultra fast, later on and you have big feet that can't stand right or you would be normal.
Amy: *Gives Amy a Sonic's pillow with a picture with his face on it* There you go, pillows don't break easliy with dolls. ^_^ It has bunch of cotton in there no feathers.
MMM: Tranquilizer is evil!!! It has drugs in it and when animals or people get bunch hits from that thing it will die not even they get alive if they got shot from that day after another day. I agreed with Nightengale you should used Ivan do sleep for you.
Shadow: Okay now I have question now but if you do anything bad I use my 'gen-jutsu' on you to make your feet also your hands into stone if you don't answer my question. Okay whenever you stop you just became hard to stop is it your the flame-thingies out of your feet?
Robotnik: *gives him 10 ramen* I also eat ramen too! ^_^
Thanks and have a great day~ ~_^
Sonic: No, that sounds rather painful. I'm fast enough already.
Amy: *Huggles her new pillow* Kawaii!!!!! ^_^
MMM: Tranquilizers can only kill you if you get hit with one while you're drunk, or have taken a big dose of Aspirin, or have been smoking pot.....it's harmless when it's alone is what I mean, and if you don't give too big of a dose... And Ivan is busy answering questions in the Golden Sun Column, so I can always use sleeping potions too.....
Shadow: I can stop on a dime! I just direct the heels forward and they push me to a light, effortless stop.
Robotnik: *Eats ramen* Any food is good food!
MMM: Reaaaallly? How about this? *Pulls out a three week old hot dog covered in mold fuzz*
Robotnik: Gimme that! *Eats moldy hot dog* Hmmm....not bad, but could use some onions and relish.
MMM: My gosh, you DO have a stomach of steel don't you?
Robotnik: Beneath the jiggling blubber lies a digestive system not seen by any mortal except myself!
MMM: Shall we keep it that way? Thanks for the submission Tigerlily, here's the next one from:
Brygi63
All right, fatty. I need to use your bald head for a while *gets behind Eggman, then uses it as a crystal ball* I see...I see...I SEE...! Nothing. Even your tiny bald head has too much fat on you.
Triple M: I'm gonna do an Eggman joke every submission, in honor of Eggbellylookalike. *sniff* I miss him. *sniff sniff*
Knuckles: are you sure you don't have a thing for Rouge? You don't need to deny it; I saw the way you looked at her in Sonic X and SA2:B. You can't wait to be with her alone, am I right?
The same goes for you too, Rouge. I know you're hitting on Knuckles.
Rotor: are you the walrus dude? I never saw the walrus dude...
Sally: you seem very uptight. You need to relax a little.
Sonic: *whisper* give Sally a massage. Maybe that will calm her down. *hint hint* *end whisper*
Amy: *looks at beheaded Sonic dolls, especially the steel one* do you really need to be that strong to give a good hug?
Turbo Tails: How strong are you? Do you have a girlfriend yet? Why don't you ever get to be the shiny chaos dude in any of the new Sonic games? That's unjust!
All right! See ya guys later! Never forget Eggbelly! At least not until the end of this column!
Robotnik: Oh wonderful! Eggbellylookalike got a replacement! Splendid! <CENSORED FOR UNPLEASANT EXCLAIMATIONS AND AN OTHERWISE FOUL MOUTH>
MMM: I really need to have a talk with our censor about the length of his tags....
Knuckles: *Reads about the Rouge thing* Absolutely not!!!!
*Close up X-ray on Knuckles' skull, giving a virtual view of his thoughts. It shows pictures of him beating up random robots, eating junk food, and kissing the Master Emerald*
Knuckles: *Thinking* I wish I had some potato chips right about now....and some robots to beat the <CENSORED WITH A LONG TAG> out of.....and the Master Emerald....good old Emerald'y *End thinking*
Rouge: *Twirling a diamond in her fingers* Oh, what was that again?
*Similar close up on Rouge's mind, this time showing mountains and mountains of precious gems, junk food as well, and Knuckles all sweaty lifting weights*
MMM: AHA!!!!! *Points to his expensive thought X-Ray Machine* Brygi was half right! You HAVE been thinking about Knuckles!
Rouge: What? Doesn't everyone think about Knuckles lifting weights?
All male characters in unison: I don't!!!!
MMM: *Notices that the female characters hadn't spoke up.* What about Amy? Sally? Bunny?
Sonic: Who'da thunk there was something else besides me on Amy's mind??????
Amy: *Huggles her Sonic pillow*
MMM: Actually, I think she wasn't listening. But that leaves.....
*Guys stare at Sally and Bunny*
Sally: Yes yes, shall we move on to next question? *Sweats*
MMM: *Shakes his head knowingly* I see what's going on here....now we have concrete proof that Sally has interspecies fantasies! That proves beyond a doubt the probability of her being Tails' Aunt! Eureka!
Rotor: Yep, I'm the walrus dude. The one that invents stuff. Yep.
Sally: *Is even more uptight after the latest chain of events*
MMM: *Pats his thought reader* What money I won't spend for the sake of randomness!
Sonic: Once again I'm stereotypically paired with Sally! Why not let her go after Knuckles like she wants to?
Sally: *Snaps* ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!! TOO MUCH RELATIONSHIP TALK!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *Runs out of the studio pulling out her poofy hair*
MMM: Looks like we finally pushed too far....oh well, a few months of corrective therapy and she'll be back on the right track! Continue with the questions...
Amy: I lift weights four hours a day so that Sonic won't think I'm fat! *FLEX*
Sonic: But what about being not feminine enough?
Amy: I can always sit on a couch eating nothing but "Sonic-O's" For a few weeks straight to get rid of the muscles...
Sonic: Yes but a tub of flab like Robotnik's isn't too appealing either....
Amy: Then I will go on a slightly lazy yet weight losing diet to obtain the perfect medium!
Sonic: *Sarcastically* You do that! *Unspirited Thumbs up sign*
Turbo Tails: That's it! I will go on a mighty quest to obtain a Girlfriend and a Shiny Chaos dude! *Runs off in a heroic stance*
MMM: AFTER the end of this chapter TT!!!
TT: *Zips back in* Oh, ok! No problem!
MMM: Yes, good old EBLA, he will be missed.............*Begins playing his Game Boy* Oh and, thanks for the submission Brygi! That one kicked a$$! Here's the last one on this chapter from:
Zephyr Analea
wow.....there's a lotta people here.....
Sonic: who is stronger, you - the scary one -, or Shadow - the cool one - ?
Amy: why do you like Sonic so much?
Knuckles: how can you stand being around so many idiots?
all: if you were to change your name, what would you change it to?
....thats all for now. can't think of anything else.
~Zephyr Analea
MMM: Everybody likes the Sonic gang! It gets rather crowded in here alot.
Sonic: Shadow and I are equally strong, and he's the scary one! I'm cool!
Amy: I like Sonic for the same Reason you like Mewtwo so much!
MMM: Psychic powers and a kick-ass attitude?
Amy: I'm speaking from one Fangirl to another here!
Knuckles: I know these guys can be idotic at times, but they're my pals! *Pats Sonic on the shoulder*
Sonic: *Considers a new name* How about "The Flash?"
MMM: Already taken.
Sonic: "The Quickster?"
MMM: Taken as well.
Sonic: uhhhh...."Really Really Fast Guy?"
MMM: *Rolls his eyes*
Sonic: I give up. Besides, I've already made the name of "Sonic" famous, so who'd want to change it?
Turbo Tails: I'd be "Fly Guy"! It rhymes and sounds cool!
Knuckles: "Rad Red" Works fine as a second name.
Robotnik: I'd keep my first name, Ivo, but I'd change Robotnik to Robotsky, because I like the sound of Russian names.
Sally: I wouldn't change my name. I'm already quite happy with it.
MMM: Thanks for the submission Zephyr, and that ends this chapter! I'll see you guys in Chapter 9!
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